Discussion Topic: Dadding
Wow being a Dad is hard. I knew it would be difficult but this is way beyond expectations. I like to joke now that since I’m an RTFM guy I’m really glad parenting didn’t come with a manual, because I don’t know if I would have done it. However, and let me make perfectly clear, I love every minute of parenting it’s the most fun I’ve had in my entire life.
So why Dadding? Is that even a word? According to Google there is something to it. Since I’ve only just looked that up myself I won’t claim any association or non-association with the content discovered therein. But I will say that turning a noun into a verb seems like a pretty powerful statement. Not only does it marginally highlight my grammatical skill, it provides a way of defining the action of being a Dad instead of just the title that reproduction provided me. Dadding is a full contact sport, and I’ve never been much of an athlete. My endeavor in life has always been more cerebral in nature so I’ve never succeeded in physical prowess. I just hope my girls never realize how much of a pushover their Dad is.
Dadding to me represents countless hours of work to provide for my family, countless hours of sleeplessness to care for my family, and countless hours of enjoyment just playing. I’m not to proud to paint my fingernails with my daughters or put on makeup or dance around in costume dresses assuming I can find one my size. All the joys and pains of Dadding are easy to manage, but the social pressures for perfection can be overwhelming.
I’ve always had that little voice in my head telling me I’m no good at the things I do and I should probably just give up. Fortunately age allows me the clarity of mind to tell that little voice to stuff it, although not all the time. No matter how hard I try to allow myself to be gauged by my own accomplishments it’s hard not to look around and feel like every one else has their shit more organized than me. That little voice eats at me until, on occasion, it becomes a scream and I can’t suppress it and it over takes my resolve; on those days I’m not a good Dad. What brings me out of the slump is the reminder that I am the hardest judge of my abilities. The only person who can truly hurt me is me.
Having said these thing I’m glad and revel in the fact that every day I get to do my favorite thing, Dadding. I struggle from day to day but that is life I believe, a life without struggle is not fun. I’m most thankful every day for my children and especially thankful for my wife. No matter how hard I feel society puts pressure on me, it can never compare to the pressures placed on a Mother. I can’t even begin to compare my difficulties to hers, so I won’t try. I can only say that every day I’m massively thankful for her hard work and that she choses to take this trip through life and Parenting with me.