Yes “failure attempted” past tense. I’m already looking forward to my spectacular failure. For many Halloween is an exciting evening they look forward to all year, for others it is a night of anxiety and regret I count myself among the latter. No it’s not the fear of ghouls and ghost or even the dreaded arachnids that seem to proliferate into all facets of pop culture this time of year; it is for me the dreaded NaNoWriMo.
“Dreaded! you say?” Yes that is what I say… Dreaded because I have a massive fear of failure. It’s something I’ve struggled with for my entire life; age and experience are the only two things that help mitigate the fear but it never leaves me.
In order to conquer this fear and anxiety I will once again be attempting to write a novel. However, unlike previous attempts, this time around I will not be prescribing to the word count goal but instead I’ll be trying to simply write every day. In much the same way a diet is started on January 1st and ended on January 3rd, historically that has been my ability to stay focused on this endeavor. This time I say it shall be different, unless it’s not. In which case I give the black-hole in which I write this the right to ridicule me for another failed attempt.
The point I’m getting to is that once more I will try, and I will continue to try every November until either something succeeds or I succumb to my failures and quietly fade to non-existence. So with fear in hand and anxiety in my heart I strike forward on another fantastic opportunity for failure.
Wish me luck…