I was born over 2000 years ago on a planet far from here. I have told this story to very few; only those who choose to help me know my secrets. If you are reading this now then I have chosen you to aid in my quest. My name is Jerel, I am a Tok’ra. My race has been fighting the Goa’uld for several millennia. We are of the same species as the accursed Goa’uld but share none of their desires for universal domination. We choose to blend naturally with our hosts and will only blend with those that will have us.
I came to this planet thousands of years ago, when Ra ruled as god over the Egyptian peoples. My mission was to infiltrate his most trusted circle and assassinate him. This was very difficult and required many centuries in his service to build his trust. During this time I worked with a group of Tau’ri to build a resistance group against Ra. I told them the truth of our race and how Ra was blinding them with their lack of knowledge. It was this group that eventually led the uprising against Ra and buried the Chapa’hai.
My plan was laid with great skill and cunning, but forces acted against me that I could not have foreseen. One of my Tau’ri brethren betrayed me in the service of his one true God and my many centuries of false worship to Ra were let out in one night. Ra was furious of this invasion into his most trusted servants and had me forcibly removed from my host, but I was not killed. Instead he chose to have me imprisoned in a stasis jar so that I might have the rest of eternity to contemplate my actions. I would later come to find out my Queen, Egaria, was imprisoned in this same manner.
The centuries past by so slowly, I remember wanting death to take me from this reechoed existence but it would not. The stasis jar was extremely efficient in its design and worked all too well. As time went on I contemplated my existence. I tried to reason with the thoughts of my demon brethren, tried to see things from their point of view. I knew that my only chance for survival would be a force blending if I was given the chance, I would take what I needed and have my revenge on Ra for this horrible torture. I contemplated the idea of a forced blending over and over. My anger and hatred for Ra made it seem like the only logical course. My Tok’ra ideals kept coming back, telling me to not do this. What would you do to survive, would you become a monster? I did.
The moment came one day after countless centuries imprisoned. The stasis jar I was in broke open, and I immediately sensed the presence of a viable host. I look back now on that day and weep inside for my soul will be tarnished with that feeling forever. I had never taken a host by force, after all those years, the feeling was almost enjoyable. I forced my way into his body, taking over his consciousness. I kept telling myself how this was the only way, I must complete my mission, I must find a way to survive.
I had taken a young archeologist by the name of Jason Smith as my host. His expeditionary team was sent into the desert to find a missing artifact, something called the Chapa’hai. This made me happy and terrified me all at the same time. The Tau’ri had found a way to over through Ra and bury his link to earth. What would happen if they found it and uncovered it, would Ra return? I decided the best way to find this answer was to stay with the expedition. I used my host’s memories to blend into the expedition so they would not get suspicious of my behavior.
We journeyed for many months trying to find the Chapa’hai. I secretly aided them many times with translations and my own memories of the events leading up to that fateful day. As time went on I learned much about my hosts, learned of his family and through his memories was able to piece together the history that I had missed. One day I found a small corner of his consciousness that had been hidden from me before. He fought to keep this secret he had, but I was too strong and again I took what I wanted. This knowledge he had kept from me was astonishing, I could not believe it at first. It had been so long since I last walked freely that it couldn’t have been real. This secret he had tried to keep from me was….me.
In this dark corner of his mind was a name, Jerel, my name. But how could he have known my name. I met with his mind that evening when we slept. I chose this because I could control his body in case he decided to fight me. I told him my name and how I came to be inside of him. To my surprise he was very understanding, and even excited. It seems he was a member in a secret group, they called themselves Tok’ra. I couldn’t believe, my teachings from all those years ago had stayed in the hearts and minds of those that still wished to fight the false Gods.
He told me how his ancestors were slaves in Egypt and how they had been taught by a great teacher, one who had the courage to secretly work against Ra. Once their great teacher disappeared many of them turned away from the teachings and forgot everything. A very small group learned the fate of their teacher and decided to do everything in their power to find him. Jason was sent to Egypt on this expedition to try and find the stasis jar I had been trapped in and do anything he could to save me if I was still alive.
I couldn’t believe it; I immediately released him from the hold I had put over him, and all of my Tok’ra teachings came rushing back to me. I could feel the joy of this blending in his heart and felt relieved that I did not have to hold him prisoner anymore. We spent the rest of the night talking, he told me everything he could about what I had missed while I was away, and I told him of the horrible existence I had endured. I could not apologize enough to him for what I had done, to forcibly take him as host, I was no better than the Goa’uld. He told me there was no way he could know the pain and suffering I had endured and that my reaction to survive was understandable.
We left the expedition group shortly thereafter. They did not need our help anymore since they were already on the right track to finding the Chapa’hai. We returned to America were Jason lived and met with the rest of the Tok’ra. It was very strange for me to call them that knowing they had no symbiote inside them, but it was nice to hear those words spoken on the lips of others. We decided it would be best to stay in the shadows and not alert anyone to our existence, but we would keep an eye on the Chapa’hai.
There was very little about the Chapa’hai for many decades, and I consumed myself to learning more about the history of the Tau’ri, humans as they called themselves. I was fascinated to learn that not only had they driven out the Goa’uld, but they had totally forgotten them. They had prospered unlike anything I could have imagined. My life was very uneventful until one day we heard news of the Chapa’hai, it had opened and Jaffa had come through. An expeditionary team no doubt, perhaps Ra had survived and decided to take back what he thought was his.
I immediately sprang into action and found myself working with a man named Daniel Jackson. He was ridiculed and harassed by his peers but little did they know that all his theories were correct. I chose not to reveal myself to him; instead I worked with him helping him to decipher some of the more cryptic texts he had found. We eventually got the Chapa’hai…Stargate operational. I could not warn him or anyone about the dangers they might encounter on the other side but I took soles in the knowledge of their people. These humans had become very resourceful and I believed they would be prepared enough for anything they encountered. Once they returned to earth the Stargate was closed down and I was comforted with the knowledge that they had destroyed Ra. Sadly, I should have known better. When Ra died his knowledge and power was taken over by another Goa’uld, Apophis. I used my connections to work my way into one of the new SG teams as an archeologist. Fortunately my small group of trusted confidants had worked its way into high positions in the SGC, most importantly into the medical department. It would have been impossible for me to infiltrate the SGC without them finding out about me without their help. They were and still do keep my secret very much a secret. Even General Hammond doesn’t know anything about my existence, I fear if he or anyone else found out they would not believe my story and have me executed as a Goa’uld spy.
I know the Tok’ra are still out there, we have met with them a few times and they have become a valuable ally in the fight against the Goa’uld. I choose to remain hidden among my peers because I do not wish the System Lords to learn of my existence, one who so easily infiltrated their highest ranks. DEATH TO ALL GOA”ULD!!!
Dr. Jason Smith PHD DOB: 2-9-1975